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What’s in a Girl Crush?

December 23, 2016 | Filed in: Your Brain

When we created our Bento Box survey back in 2014, we did not anticipate that asking women to identify their girl crushes would be the biggest stumper of all. Some survey-takers say, “I love all these women! How can I choose?” While others note, “I don’t relate to any of these choices.” We hear you on both counts, and because we’re in constant conversation with our customers, we want to invite you into the process as we update our “girl crush” question. But first, a refresher course.

The current “girl crush” question on our Bento Box survey.

Let’s start by defining our terms: According to the all-knowing Urban Dictionary, a girl crush is “a feeling of admiration and adoration which a girl has for another girl, without wanting to shag said girl… usually based on a veneration.” To use it in a sentence: “Zadie Smith is my number one girl crush, mostly because White Teeth is my favorite book, but also because her accent sounds so cool.” Or: “I wasn’t that into Ina Garten until I made her salty oatmeal chocolate chunk cookies, and now I have a serious girl crush.”

A key characteristic of a girl crush is that its object possesses something you’d like to emulate, for profound or superficial reasons (we don’t judge). The women in our girl crush question may be wide-ranging in their skills, ages, and personalities, but they’re all accomplished, powerful, and at the top of their respective professional fields. Our goal is that every woman who fills out our Bento survey can find at least one girl crush among these options.

Some people wonder why we bother asking about this in the first place. We sell clothing—what does a girl crush have to do with that? And it’s true: Your selection of Beyoncé over Amelia Earhart probably won’t determine whether your stylist sends you a Lydia instead of an Etsuko. But the crux of this question isn’t about your appearance; it’s about your interests and ambitions. It gives us a peek into your personality beyond measurements-based questions. The Bento survey is the first step in building a relationship with your stylist, and she wants to know what makes you tick. 

So! Now that we’ve explained the origins of our girl crush question, it’s time for you to weigh in. Just as we frequently update popular styles based on customer feedback (looking at you, Sarah 6.0), we’d like revisit this question on our Bento survey. Who should we include?

UPDATE: Thanks to your top-notch suggestions, The Girl Crush question on our Bento survey has now been updated! Check out the new options, here, and feel free to send more ideas to

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Alexandra Johnson is an editorial associate at MM.LaFleur, where she started out as a summer intern. Her happy place is the room housing Monet's Water Lilies at MoMA. Read more of Alexandra's posts.

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